æʃli

I have no idea how to start one of these, so we are just gonna go with whatever ends up being typed. I am not one that likes to talk about what's going on in my life. No one in my family really talks about our feelings or what is going on in our lives. I've just been taught to keep everything bottled up over the years. I don't expect anyone to read this, but in the off chance that someone is out there reading this, I guess you'll learn a little bit about me. 

As I said above, I'm not one to talk about what's going on in my life. Plenty of people know I deal with anxiety and ADD, but I have never once admitted to anyone that I struggle with depression. I know how dumb and cliché it probably sounds. "Oh, another college kid complaining about mental health. What else is new?" Well, this blog is to just get all of the bullshit in my life out there and I totally agree with all of you who think this is stupid. Expressing emotion is completely foreign to me. I mean, I'm a theatre major, so I can express emotion. My own emotions are another story. Writing has become an outlet over the years for me. Technically, I write about my emotions all of the time, but I put them to a character so I don't have to acknowledge those feelings as my own. I know I'm not the only one out there who does this. 

Since this is going to be my first post, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Ashley. I am 21 and I study theatre. Awful choice, I know. I can't change my major now though unless I'm willing to spend like two more years here. Not gonna happen. That is a post for another day. My minor is in Film and Media Arts. My main goal is to go into screenwriting, but if I'm being real, I'll probably end up in teaching like my grandmother, mother, and sister. One of my favorite things in the world is my cat. A very close second to my cat would be StarKid. They're all the loves of my life. They will come in on a future post cause if I start talking about them now, I won't be able to stop. 

For now, I think that is enough about me. I don't want to put my whole life into one post. Putting myself out there like this is totally nerve-racking, but I think will help me deal with a lot going on in my life. It also gives me an excuse to write, so that's what makes this fun and exciting. With that, I would like to end with a quote I really like:

"Every day, thousands of confessions are kept from their would-be confessors, none of these people knowing that their never-admitted secrets all boil down to the same three words: I am afraid.”

― Maggie Stiefvater, The Dream Thieves

I don't want to say that my life is filled with secrets, but it certainly is filled with stories that I am terrified to tell. Not that any of them are bad. They are just personal. I think it's about time I put them all out there.

æʃli

P.S.: æʃli is just my name spelled with the phonetic alphabet. It looks a lot cooler :p I'm a nerd.